TL;DR:
Self-reliance matters, but asking for help can often turn good work into great work. It saves time, builds trust, and strengthens the movement. In this short post, I recommend a few ways you can ask for help in your work and community. 

At a recent leadership gathering, we were discussing how many of us have too many tasks on our plates. Someone said something that stuck with me:
“Ask your team for help. They want to help you and the org succeed.”

It hit home. In leadership and entrepreneurship, we often mistake competence for independence.

When I was asked for my top tip for new charity founders, I said a similar thing:
“Learn to ask for help. Don’t reinvent the wheel.”

Self-reliance gets us far. It’s what drives many of us to push through exhaustion and figure things out alone. I still default to that—searching, pushing through, trying to fix things myself. But there’s a point where working solo stops being efficient. After that, asking for help becomes a multiplier.
 

What help-seeking can look like

Light touches

• Start with existing tools or templates instead of creating things from scratch
• If AI can handle the research, a first draft or the first few questions, use it and save human time for creativity and judgment.
• Ask for reasonable accommodation to your specific needs on calls, meetings and conferences to make the experience more comfortable/valuable/accessible for you

Medium steps

• Ask a teammate for advice on how to handle a tough task, or even a co-working session to tackle it with accountability
• Maybe consider if someone else is better suited to do that task
• Post a request in a community like Hive or on the EA Forum (in Hive's case, it’s the help-requests channel where most requests get answers!): “Does anyone have this resource or contact?” “Can anyone volunteer to help me complete this project?” etc.
• Reach out to someone with expertise for a quick opinion via DMs

Bigger asks

• Request feedback on a draft before publishing
• Ask a mentor or peer for a call to think through a challenge
• Let someone take over a responsibility when you’re overwhelmed or unwell

Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s an act of trust. It builds relationships and strengthens communities.

We sometimes avoid it because we don’t want to make others uncomfortable, but most people can set boundaries. When I am asked for help but can’t help directly, I still share a few leads or ideas. Healthy help-seeking and boundary-setting go hand in hand.

I also know it’s harder for some, especially those new to the space or used to relying only on themselves. That’s why leaders should normalise it.

I’m still learning, too. It can sometimes take me days to send a message that says, “Could you help me think this through?” But every time I do, it’s worth it.

Very recent real-life example: At the last EAG NYC, I lost most of my voice before Hive’s speed-meets. I almost cancelled, but asked my friend Ben Stevenson to lead instead. He did brilliantly while I ran the logistics, and the event went even better as Ben’s voice is louder than my normal voice. We got many compliments on the session, and I was so happy we did it. That experience reminded me: asking for help doesn’t make things fall apart—it often makes them better.

Here is a picture of me and @Ben Stevenson, who kindly volunteered to co-host the animal welfare speed meetings with me at EAG NYC 2025!

A culture of wise help-seeking doesn’t just make life easier. It speeds up learning, reduces duplication, and keeps our movement resilient.

Self-reliance builds competence. Collaboration builds strength. We need both.

Questions for you:

• What helps you ask for help when it feels uncomfortable?
• When was the last time you asked for help, and what happened?